You know those times when you first meet someone and feel like you hit it off right away?
These are very rare situations, but they do happen!

You're talking-the conversation is going this way and that and you're keeping up with
each other and unearthing all of the amazing things you have in common.

The body language is right-leaning towards each other, making eye contact, realizing
that you're lightly touching each others arm when you laugh.

At the end of the night, they ask for your number.
That's right--You didn't even ask them-they asked you!

As you leave them you have this renewed feeling of confidence.
Your senses are heightened.

You feel like you're glowing from the inside-out because you've finally met somebody that
you're into and they're into you.

And then you wait for the call that will confirm it all.  That text or call that
will be slightly awkward, but lead to a date with someone with whom the possibilities
could be endless!

You're patient. You stay busy as the hours and days pass by.
After a week, you feel the glow fading.
After more then a week, the glow has gone out and you're back to square one.

The cold realization sinks in that they're not going to call.

"I don't get it." Sylvia sighs over the phone one night.  "What happened?
What did I do wrong?" she wails.

While Syliva pours her heart out, I'm planted on my couch, painting my toenails a
rusty shade of red.

"Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong." I say.

"Then what the hell? Everything was going great! Why would he ask for my number and
then just not call me?"

I wait until the roommate, 2.0, is out of the room before responding with our
recent mantra, "It's hit or miss.  You know that!"

Sylvia lets out a groan. "I know, I know-Hit or miss! But it still feels so shitty."

Our new dating mantra, hit or miss, is based on the theory that regardless of how
great things are going with someone, you should never just "expect" things will go well.
Dating, as with most other aspects of life, is a game of chance.
You roll the dice and take chances and sometimes just when it feels like you're winning,
you loose.

Giving up your expectations can allow you to just roll with the punches and
save some face...and heartache.

"That's pessimistic!" Tara laughs.

It's a few days later and Sylvia and I are catching up with Tara at our local watering
hole, South.

I swirl the ice around in my cosmo-on-the-rocks-in-a-regular-glass. "It's not
pessimistic, it's realistic!"

"It's true, unfortunately." says Sylvia, eying up the talent behind the bar. "You just
hang out and don't think about it and then if things don't work out it doesn't feel so bad."

Tara stares at us for a second and then sets down her glass.
And Tara NEVER sets down her glass before it's empty.

"Oh my god." she says. "That makes total sense. It makes sense because there is no sense."

I used to beat myself to bits when things started awesome with someone and then
crashed around me with an unexpected thud.  Even using "hit or miss" as a dating mantra,
there are times when I feel my mind slipping back into the general direction of "girl
craziness".

But then I stop.
I take a deep breath.
I realize I can never know what lies beneath the surface of an amazing conversation or
a soul penetrating kiss.

It's a relief to give yourself permission to just be ok with things and not analyze
the maybes and what if's.

I wipe the slate clean again.
I wipe my hands clean again.
And then I move forward because I know that you've got to go through a lot of misses to
eventually get the hits.