I distinctly remember the first time I heard of the concept of having "no expectations" of a boyfriend/lover.

It was about 4 years ago, on the balcony of the apartment I was sharing with my then boyfriend, S.

My friend from back in Missouri, Farrah, was visiting.
We were sitting on the floor of my balcony, dangling our legs out from under the disturbingly inadequate
railing, having a conversation about her current relationship, which seemed to be going...well, swimmingly.

"I think the trick is to go into something having no expectations," she said. "If you don't expect anything, then you won't
be hurt if it doesn't work out."

I sucked my Popsicle.
It was a hot Indian summer day and the air conditioning in my apartment just wasn't cutting it.

"Interesting." I believe was my choice of words.
And then we headed down to the pool.

And it was interesting.
I had never heard of such a concept.  It echoed in my head long after Farrah had packed up and went back to Missouri.

If you don't expect anything, then you won't be hurt if it doesn't work out.

This is a nice concept, but isn't expecting yourself or someone else not to have any expectations really just an expectation in itself?

I like to think that I am a person who, while having some expectations, does not impose unreasonable ones.

The expectation that someone won't sleep with someone else when you are in an exclusive relationship-Pretty reasonable.

The expectation that someone can honestly say that they are with you because they want to be with you, and not because of
some silly misunderstanding that they're just riding through-I think this is pretty reasonable as well.

Relationships are like waters.
We all need it to live.
Still, while water can be calm and relaxing, or swimable and fun, water can also kill you.
Waters, like relationships, have the ability to drown you or throw you up again jagged rocks.

Sink or swim, expectations, like fish, will inevitably run in those waters.

Time and time again, I have heard from much wiser sources that you should wade into the waters-go slow, don't just jump in and allow yourself to be caught up in the excitement of the current.

Easier said then done, especially when someone else is coaxing you into jumping into something that looks refreshing.

Rivers are streams of water that start out small and turn into something bigger.
Sometimes those waters trickle back into streams and then dry up into nothing at all.
Sometimes they flow into an ocean and become a part of something much bigger and deeper.

Regardless of what the end result may be, when someone is happy to be with someone else, they should know it.
They should know that regardless of how they got there, that it's where they want to be at that moment.

This, while being an expectation, is reasonable and if the other party is unsure, then it might just be time for both of you to get out of the water.