My name is “No”, My sign is “No”, My number is “No”

Like any MDP I have a “type” and when swiping on Tinder I was keen to find some, erm, “aesthetically pleasing” MDPC’s who fitted within that. One of my good friends described it well “You have jungle fever”. There I said it, moving swiftly on….

…. With my second Tinder date I broke all those rules and didn’t go for my usual “type” = ERROR!

I had been chatting for a good three weeks to said date. This was our first mistake, I feel like if you talk for too long either the expectation is set so high because you have created this person that you think will be perfect for you, or you run out of things to say (both happened on this occasion!!!)

I met my second tinder date right around the corner from work. He suggested drinks, I asked for coffee, as soon as I turned the corner I knew I would be running for the hills. I know, I’m shallow, but I do think unless there is that initial attraction there isn’t any point pursuing it. I’m of the age where whilst I want to find someone drop dead gorgeous, I can take away a few features I like; kind eyes, tall, nice hair etc but if none of that is there then I have already put my trainers on and am waiting for the klaxon to sound (15mins in) before I make a dash for it. Anyway, back to the date….

We sat down outside and got chatting. The conversation flowed easily, which was great but he thought he was hilariously funny and laughed persistently at all his own jokes. Not only was he his own biggest fan but when he laughed it sounded like a pack of Hyenas had been let loose. I could physically see people turning round to stare- mortifying! Hyena laugh aside, his outfit was awful; espadrilles and a knitted sweater (it was the hottest day of the year). He was clearly super nervous but all things considered he was never going to be Mr Right (or even Mr Right Now). I left after 20 minutes and made my excuses.

Note to self; stick to your type, if you get a bad gut feeling it’s best to be honest and tell your date so you aren’t setting either of yourselves up for a fail.

Uber rating: 1 (for attendance)

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