Date 1/1000000

So, I said I was back, did I mention I am back in FULL DATING FORCE. I am the personification of a woman on a mission. No Tinder, Bumble or Happn match within a 15km radius is safe from my prying eyes. I actually think I have RSI from swiping left and right so much!

Despite, my disaster with Milk Tray, my tastes have remained the same. Although, I did conduct a little experiment, to see if  the chocolate loving was a mutual thing (turns out it is girlies!). So I swiped left and right for a wide demographic of men and the percentage of White Chocolate: Dark Chocolate ratio of mutual ‘likes’ was shockingly low. So whilst I have a type, turns out I’m like sweet milky nectar to the chocolate community (sorry not sorry)!

Whilst perusing my favourite app, guaranteed to find me a future husband, successful match and best friend for life (I joke). I stumbled across Gramps. Affectionately nicknamed this because he was 5 years my senior.

Gramps came across as funny, mature and he seemed like he had his s**t together. Having called me and put my mind at ease prior to our first date, I was really looking forward to our ‘drinks’. We met in Brixton and headed to a cute independent bar. Cocktails ordered, we chewed the cud over an espresso martini (or three). Conversation flowed easily and he was dressed to perfection (I am a shallow MDP). So when we swiftly kissed each others cheeks at the tube, I was already looking forward to date 2. Which he organised for the very next day!

Date 2, was dinner and drinks and again I had such a lovely evening. Could this Oreo be a potential suitor?

Date 3, was at my house…. a movie. Well more Netflix and chill. And we all know what that means. A kind, compassionate and clearly experienced forker, I had the best evening. HOWEVER, he promptly got up and left, saying he didn’t feel comfortable staying at mine.

LADIES TAKE NOTE; if a man does not stay the night this is a warning sign (as I quickly learnt). Not only, did he not stay the night I didn’t hear from him for two days. My friends asked me how it was going and I replied in the most upbeat manner that I could muster that it was ‘great’ my faltering voice clearly betraying me. Something wasn’t quite right. At this point I make reference to the classic movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”; if a man doesn’t message you and make contact or want too see you then he really isn’t keen! You can tell yourself ‘he is just busy with work’ or, when other people ask you how its going that it is ‘just fine’, but really we need to get the message loud and clear.

He did eventually contact me, and asked to go on another date, I should say he didn’t apologise for not contacting me. We went for dim sum and the date was fine. Nothing spectacular. The next date was organised for the following week. We had arranged to meet at 6.30pm in Brixton. And so, knowing how long it would take me to get from work to the bar we had arranged to meet at, I left work and went for a cheeky pre-date cocktail with a colleague. At 6.10pm I messaged him to confirm he was on his way. And he messaged saying he was going to be there early (in 5 mins). So I said, I’m running too schedule so would be there at 6.30pm as agreed. I then got a Whatsapp message to say that as he would have to wait for me that he wanted to go home and could we do another day- HE BAILED!

Again, no apology.

Another key lesson here; know your worth! 

I didn’t, at this point. So when he Whatsapped to arrange another date on a Friday evening, I willingly agreed (MUG). So that Friday, I sat at my desk and at the end of the day, applied a fresh face of makeup and got very excited because I was finally going to see him. I get a message 10 minutes before I am due to leave, to say he is still at work and can we do another time- HE BAILED AGAIN!

At this moment in time I am less than pleased, I may have cried (just a couple of glistening tears). I am feeling; hurt, rejected and generally s**t! At this point I should have blocked and deleted his number. I didn’t but I also didn’t agree to ever meet him again. So we say sayonara to gramps.  BOY BYE!


Your MDP xxx

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