South London boys 

Yo! As the temperatures are soaring in London this week so is my love life-I mean I am on fire (Naaaat!) as I reflect on another date that happened last night….

The history; tinder guy I had chatted to before I started seeing milk tray. So this is like ancient history, practically prehistoric, in terms of my love life. Anyway, we had agreed, due to a conversation he started on Instagram, to meet for a drink at Londons Southbank “around 7”. This was already irritating me, as a top planner, I like a definitive time to meet. 7pm came and went and his most recent whatsapp promised he was “on the way”, again no ETA, by this time I was getting pretty irritated but was enjoying a nice breezy spot by the Thames, man bashing on whatsapp with the girls. As 7.15pm arrived he called “trying to find me”. Incidentally, I was wearing a bright green dress, so unless he was colour blind, he wasn’t even the vicinity.

As this South London boy arrived, I was relieved that A) he looked like his photos and B) he was taller than me (it doesn’t take much to please me!). The first error of the evening is he hugged me so tightly to greet me, anyone who knows me knows I am NOT a hugger. I’m very much into personal space, so I was instantly put on edge. We settled ourselves at one of the outdoor bars and stood overlooking the Thames. We got chatting about work, family, holidays etc. So he was a true south London boy said things like “I done” instead of “I did” and his speech was peppered with choice phrases such as “is it” “bait” etc (I did a surruptious watch check at this point and to my horror realised I had only been there 15mins-yikes). I knew he wasn’t the one as I couldn’t wait to leave. At this point I was grasping at straws for topics of conversation so I asked him to tell me about himself…. he started with the basics, where he grew up, how he got to where he is in his career. His little revelation was that he had spent years in prison for drug dealing and burglary (Fuucckkkk) I needed to get out of there. I mean I like a bad boy, but a bad boy that nicked pick n mix from Woolworths as a child, not an actual felon. He also kept hugging me!!! MATE FUCK OFF THIS IS MY PERSONAL ZONE! 

I made my excuses (I was tired-poor form I know) and I left. I also blocked and deleted his number. 

What can we take away from this? Sure, everyone has a past and I was in a way grateful he felt he could be that honest with me, but don’t have overshare!!! I cannot stress this enough. I literally ran for the hills. 

Onto the next date….

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